Jay

I knew it would be like this. The sun would come out the day after my sunglasses broke. Everyday I would sit in front of the mirror admiring my sleek shades.


I desperately wanted to wear them outside, but everyday was cloudier than the last.


Days went by and I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to wear them outside and wait for the sun to arrive. It was a dark and rainy afternoon, and I had been listening to Corey Hart all morning for inspiration.


I laced up my Keds and headed out into the misty day, wearing my rad sunglasses. I only made it about 20 feet before disaster struck. I couldn't see where I was going, and I ran face on into a brick building,


knocking my glasses into a monstrous puddle.




My forehead was bleeding,


and I could hear the sound of laughter echoing through the alley.


I grabbed the glasses from the cold, rain-filled hole, and to my despair, the glasses only had one arm! My $800 spectacles were now only useful to a one eared chap. How could have I been so careless?


Corey Hart is a jackass! I wonder how many sunglasses he broke wandering around in the dark night? I contemplated lopping off one of my ears,




but then I remembered I had always wanted a pair of feather earrings.


I laid the broken shades to rest in the back of my mind. I quickly returned home and grabbed all the change from a milk jug in my room.


I had been saving change over the last few years for a trip to Missouri,


but I figured Missouri wasn't going anywhere. I made my way to Woolworths where I remember seeing the dangling feather pleasure. Sure enough, they were still hanging in the front display case next to the eagle belt buckles. I bought the bodacious earrings and even had enough change for a buckle. I stabbed my ears, tightened my pants, and walked home that afternoon with the sun in my eyes.